Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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