At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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