Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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