so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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