32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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