why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
