he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
