In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
