it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize