I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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