I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize