I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
