i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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