So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
