so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
