We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize