It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
