M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
