Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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