idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
id be glad to
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
