if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
True strength comes from lack of pants
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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