i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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