Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I AM VODKA MAN
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
