i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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