Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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