Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize