There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize