It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
