it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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