it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
