Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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