It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sober January is a disaster.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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