maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
