you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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