I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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