guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i now understand why vodka
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
