i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
