dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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