we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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