Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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