What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
