Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
