seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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