Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
