There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
