i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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