It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
