shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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