Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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