Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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