Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
In America we eat man semen.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
