i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
