Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
