i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize