..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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