Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
