Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
