Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize