it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
