1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I licked your asshole in confidence.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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