Yo dont text me then not text me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize