her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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