Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
