There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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