Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
