I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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