Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
