listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
