Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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