im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
